Friends with Benefits

My story is about my present love life.

We met at the church. by that time he was not yet a worker (the catholics call it sakritan something or "katakista" dunno if the spelling is right) just an ordinary member. Originally this guys is from Mindanao, Lake Sebu daw lugar nila. Nung first time ko siya makita mahiyain siya. when he was introduced to me he just smiled He was also new to the church so he doesnt know people yet.. And ako naman well known ako sa church nayun kase my father helped their pastor when the church is at pioneering stage. So lagi kmi sa church na yun before. I attended their friday service that time kaya ko siya nakita ang napakilala sakin. the moment when he was introduced to me i knew that time that i like him. pero dedma xempre. we were just accuainted people not really friends. but i cant get him out of my mind. like from time to time i will suddenly remember him. but i never let my feeling take over me since i know that having a special relationship with him is impossible. He's straight. he's hadsome. chubby nga lang. then months past he became a worker of the church. he was devoted to serving the Lord. so he stayed in the church parsonage. every time i and my brother visit the city we spend a night in the church to mingle with friends and catch up with their lives. but this guy is always interested in talking to me. i just get along and never put any meaning to it. tapos time came that i studied in a korean bible school and we were classmates. actually one of the reason i studied in that school kahit na it's like 2hours travel from our house was because of him. after like one month i decided to stay in the church in the city to save time, money and travel effort. so in short magkasama na kmi. nung mga time na yun. dun ko nalaman na may rumored boyfriend siya sa chrurch at yung BF niya daw may girlfriend and these stories came out kase na discover ni girl ang special treatment ng BF nya sa guy na to. to make the story short nabulabog mga tao dahil pareho sila lalake. at si girl may influence sa church kaya hindi rin basta basta. this guy found me as his shocked absorber. buhusan ng luha at sama ng loob. i just get along and never did showed any motive that i like him. nor did i take that situations to be my starting point of revealing my true feelings. i was like his only friend that time. kase di pa nakakaclarify mga kwento kaya parang napasama siya sa ibang tao. at na issuehan na bisexual. but i played my part as a good friend. everything was settled when their pastor mediate to the situation, painful feelings subsided, everything started to comeback to what it has been before but his rumored BF never talk to him anymore. they seperated. they never talk nor greeted each other on the way. that time he became more dependent to me when it comes to his emotional probem. our friendly relationship grew deeper. and i started to show my care and love for him. i brought him food o kaya naman treat him sa mall. but i never croosed the line of friendship to lovers. we were closer than before. but theres just one thing i dont understand. he never text or call me. and when i text him he always has reasons kung bakit di siya pwede mag text. or if i call him. he's always in a hurry na ibaba yung tawag. i know that he's ok when i'm around but when i'm not it seems that he don't cared. but still i pretended everything was alright with me. then one time i forgot what happened that night but dun siya natulog sa tabi ko. edi ako wala lang dedma. so natulog kmi. nung madaling araw na. i felt something heavy sa baba ko. antok na antok ako nun kaya hinayaan ko lang. then nagulat ako na hinawakan niya sakin. xempre ang normal reaction is titigas diba. kaya nagising ako. but i pretended im asleep kasi baka magkahiyaan kmi in the morning. i took his hand off my thing pasimple lang ako. pero nilagay niya ulit. it happened twice that night. i cant believe that he will do the first move. pero i'm so weak to respond to anything. hay. nung umaga na. dedma lahat as if wala daw nangyari. pero feel ko that time na medyo nahihiya siya sakin. to make the story short the next na gabi ulit. ginawa na naman niya yun. kaya parang na confirm ko that he want me. pero nung morning dedma ulit lahat. ang weak ko talaga kasi hindi na naman me nag respond. nung 3night na. niyaya niya ako na sa kuarto niya daw ako matutulog. ako naman xempre i wanna take my chances pumayag din. tapos nakahiga na kmi. as in ang sikip pa kase maliit kama niya. nung natulog na kmi. he did it again. this time he never pretended na tulog siya. he touched me. at ako naman i responded with a kiss sa lips. we both know na gising kmi pero hindi kmi nag uusap. mga 2 minutes yung moment na yun. then bigla siya tumayo. at umalis sa kama . he left me hanging. loko talaga. as in kung kelan nag umpisa na umalis siya wala man lang ka rason rason. pumunta siya malapit sa entrance ng church. tas sinilip ko siya, he was crying that time. so hindi nako nag bother na lapitan pa. pero ako sa sarili ko. medyo nag sisi ako kung bakit ko ginawa din yun. malabo talaga lahat nung gabing yun. the next morning hindi ko kaya mga nagyari umalis ako pumunta ako sa bahay ng close friend ko at dun ako nag breakfast. then nag ring yung phone ko. it was him calling me. sabi niya. i prepared a breakfast for you. kala ko kasi tulog kapa. yun pala wala kana. i felt a little sad kase alam ko nag e effort na siya. tapos, yun na start na lahat. hindi ko siya official boyfriend. pero sobra pa kmi sa mag ka relasyon. nag dedate kmi lagi. ang lahat sinasabi niya sakin. my GF siya. meron din ako. pero never na ulit nangyari ang mga bagay na yun kahit na magtabi kmi matulog. dun ko na understand ang love beyond sexual desires. hanggang ngayon we always see each other. malayo nako sa kanya like mga 40 minutes travel. kase we transfered na ng bahay dahil sa work ni papa. pero intact padin lahat sa relasyon namin. on my part naman. mas happy ako kase alam ko we will never have break ups. di din siya pwede mag tampo. at ganun din ako sa kanya. what we have is something i treasure. alam namin limits namin. he was a special friend to me. and i to him.

hehehe yun lang kwento ko. i felt contented kahit papanu.

at masaya ako na na eexpressed ko dito ang other side ng buhay ko.